Manager to Mom, Part One: The Power of Your Belief

Manager to Mom, part one of four. This series celebrates the last day of ADHD Awareness Month. Read each part in order, right here.

My mission is to help you see ADHD differently, so your child can stop letting it limit them and start letting it be the thing that fuels their life.

Today is the last day of ADHD Awareness Month. To celebrate, you're getting a four-part series over the next 48 hours called Manager to Mom.

There may be a way to help your child move forward without them changing a single thing first. That's something you'd want to know more about, right?

Researchers combined the findings from years of studies on parents and school. Their question was simple: what do parents do that has the biggest impact on their child's success?

Supervising homework at home had the smallest impact. The biggest impact came from how far parents believed their child would go in school and in life.

That's not the same as high standards for this week's grades. It's a parent's steady belief in where their child is headed, even when this week looks messy.

If you have a child with ADHD, you probably believe they're capable with your whole heart. You've likely said it out loud more times than you can count.

Now listen for how that sentence usually ends. "They're so capable, if they would just not wait so long to get started." "They're so smart, if they would just ask for help."

Without anyone noticing, the belief becomes "they'll get there, once they fix that one thing." Your child hears those last four words louder than everything that came before them.

That means your greatest power isn't in managing. It lives in your child knowing you believe in where they're headed, with no "if" attached.

That power doesn't end when your child turns 18. A study of nearly 600 young adults, around 24 years old, found that the ones whose parents stayed close and kept supporting them were more satisfied with their lives.

Your child borrows your belief at 5, at 15, and still at 25, especially when their belief in themselves feels shaky. They can see the conviction in you before they can find it in themselves.

Picture a baby tree that was just planted. A post goes in the ground right beside it, tied loosely to the trunk.

The post doesn't tell the tree how to grow. It holds the tree steady when the wind picks up, while the roots dig in underneath.

Your belief is that post, and you'll know when the wind picks up. It's the test that comes back worse than they hoped, the email about another missing assignment, or your child saying, "I'm just stupid," or "I don't even care."

In those moments, their belief in themselves bends. Yours holds them steady while their own roots keep growing.

Once the roots are strong, the post comes out. The tree stands tall on its own.

If your child is all in and open to your help, this works. If your child is open to your help only every now and then, this works.

If your child wants nothing to do with your help right now, this still works. That's because your belief shows up in how you talk to your child, not in what you tell them to do.

A child who feels doubted spends their energy proving they're fine. A child who feels believed in has that energy left over for the tutor, the coach, and the plan you already have, so all of it starts working faster.

What you want is to stop managing and watch your child start their work, turn it in, and show up to class on their own, isn't it?

Navigating ADHD: The Masterclass helps you understand the process of navigating ADHD, so you know how to fuel your child instead of carrying it for them.

To celebrate the end of ADHD Awareness Month, use code ADHD15 for 15% off any ticket through Sunday at midnight Eastern. The Masterclass is live and recorded, November 9 through 13.

Save my seat with ADHD15

See you in the Masterclass,

Tyler Dorsey

P.S. If your child is in elementary or middle school, there's a seat for you too. The Masterclass is built for parents of high school and college students, and you'll still walk away with aha moments about ADHD you can use at home right away.

Up next in Manager to Mom: part two lands in your inbox later today, and it will live right here too.