Manager to Mom, Part Three: The Relationship Is the Power

Manager to Mom, part three of four. Catch up on part one and part two.

What if the answer isn’t getting someone else to tell your child the same thing you’ve been telling them? What if it’s something a lot more empowering than that?

When a coach, a teacher, or another adult says it and your child listens, it can feel like a win. The work gets done, and you get to breathe for a minute.

Every time someone else becomes the voice, a little of your power goes with them. Over time, that can wear on your relationship with your child, even when you don’t notice it happening.

It usually starts small. Parents describe feeling like they’re walking on eggshells before they bring up school, or like every conversation turns into another reminder.

Some say the harder they hold on, the more their child pulls away. Others say that trying to parent and keep a close relationship at the same time is exhausting.

Your child feels it too. They start answering with “I’m fine” and changing the subject.

They tell you what they think you want to hear, because it feels safer than the truth. Slowly, they stop bringing you the hard stuff, and that’s the stuff you most want to help with.

The relationship you have with your child is the most powerful tool you own. When you shift, that relationship changes, and your child changes with it.

These four parents walked into Navigating ADHD: The Masterclass worn down from managing. They walked out with their relationship heading somewhere new.

Janet came in like so many parents, having tried the classes and read the books. She left with a new picture of what matters most.

In her words, “it’s more important that the relationship is solid than it is to get him to the outcome I want.”

Shannon only ever wanted her son to feel loved and encouraged. Without meaning to, the questions she thought were helpful were landing the opposite way.

She walked away “confident in stepping to the side to be the encourager instead of the manager.”

Amanda came in doing constant reminders, questions, and check-ins. She knew that if she backed off, she “could resume supportive, loving mom role v. manager.”

By the end of the week, she shared that she felt less anxious about her daughter’s upcoming accounting exam, “which means I’m able to be a calming, even presence for her when she calls me to talk about it.”

Betsy came in believing she had to prod and push her daughter to do things that seemed easy to her. During the Masterclass week, she watched each lesson twice, once on her own and once with her daughter.

“We have great discussions during each session and look forward to it each evening,” she shared. Her daughter got to watch her mom trying to understand her brain.

In Betsy’s words, “she sees me trying to understand, we both show up differently. She expresses more, and I am more curious and less judgmental.”

Nobody else became the voice for these families. Each parent shifted, and their child had something new to lean on.

If your child is all in and open to your help, this works. If your child is open to your help only every now and then, this works.

If your child wants nothing to do with your help right now, this still works. Your relationship is yours to shape, whether they’re ready or not.

What you want is to step out of managing it all for your child and get to be Mom again, the sounding board who helps them figure out what they want to do for themselves, isn’t it?

That’s what Navigating ADHD: The Masterclass is built for. Over five days, live and recorded November 9 through 13, you’ll see how to step out of the manager’s seat and step back into being Mom.

This whole series has been about the power you already hold. Today is the last day to start using it at 15% off.

Use code ADHD15 before midnight Eastern tonight.

Step back into Mom with ADHD15

See you in the Masterclass,

Tyler Dorsey

P.S. If your child is in elementary or middle school, there’s a seat for you too. The Masterclass is built for parents of high school and college students, and you’ll still walk away with aha moments about ADHD you can use at home right away.

Up next in Manager to Mom: part four lands in your inbox Sunday afternoon, and it will live right here too.